count down...

4 months to the wedding day!!

"Up in the Air"

Have you ever seen the movie, Up in the air? That's my life right now...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1193138

I was literally in a different city every night...started here on Wednesday, Thursday in San Diego, Friday and Saturday in Phoenix, Tucson on Sunday, flew to San Jose Sunday night, Monday in Palo Alto and Pacifica, Napa on Tuesday, Sacramento on Wednesday, lost yet? I came home for a night, took Brent to the airport and tomorrow I am off to Fresno. I am really trying to do right by my job and get the new products out there for people to see. Even though I am literally driving myself into the ground, I somehow don't think it's good enough. Time will tell...

I haven't been writing a lot lately because I have been a tad lost. I am trying to figure a lot of things out. Traveling this much is really making me lose myself and lose sight of where I am going. I need to make more time for myself and for Brent! I need to be better at balancing everything. It's a work in progress.

I wish I had more to talk about, but I don't. Just trying to find my way....

Happy Thanksgiving!

There are so many things to be thankful for...so many great people and moments. Enjoy time with your loved ones! Wishing you all a happy and healthy Thanksgiving.

Loss of a friend....

Today is about honoring a true competitor and friend, Fran Crippen. It is a huge loss not only for the swimming community, but for the TYR family. Fran Crippen was one of the best athletes I ever had the opportunity to know and his death came way too soon!



This is the article from Swimming World:

Passages: Fran Crippen, 26 - FINA, USA Swimming, USOC Release Statements - Updated -- October 23, 2010

FUJAIRAH, United Arab Emirates, October 23. SHORTLY after the FINA Open Water 10K World Cup swim today in the UAE, United States swimmer Fran Crippen, 26, passed away after falling unconscious during the race.

With the water in the mid-to-high 80s, the competitors all finished and noticed that Crippen had not crossed the finish line. Meet management brought in deep sea divers, who found Crippen dead under the water just before the final buoy nearly two hours later. Previous reporting stated that Crippen was found unconscious, and was taken to the local hospital before dying. More information from the scene has confirmed that he had already passed away during the race.

Crippen had shown signs of slowing down during the third lap of the five-lap race. When Crippen did not immediately finish, a fact noticed by teammate Alex Meyer who screamed for help, the competing swimmers rushed back into the water to help with the search.

Information provided to Swimming World demonstrates that the water was likely too hot for the event as several swimmers, including USA's Eva Fabian and Christine Jennings, were treated for heat exhaustion at the hospital after the race.

FINA does not have a maximum temperature allowed, but does have a minimum temperature for an open water swim to take place.

Additionally, according to information received by Swimming World, there was a single boat for the referee along with up to three jet skis with one assigned to the lead group.

According to the same information, no lifeguards were on land or near the swimmers. The only other boats around the course contained media members and other spectators.

The last time Crippen was seen alive was when he passed the first feed station on the final lap, and was seen to be struggling. Upon completion of the race, according to our source, no one was keeping track of swimmers as they finished.

National Youth Team Head Coach Jack Roach is heading to the United Arab Emirates to serve as Crippen's honor transport to make sure he returns to the United States for burial and services to be announced.

This was the last open water swim of the year for Crippen, and he had planned to take a vacation to Italy.

Born in Philadelphia, Pa., Crippen was a member of the illustrious Crippen family who grew up at the Germantown Academy in Fort Washington. Crippen's top finish in the sport came at the 2009 World Championships when he finished third in the 10K swim in Rome. He also won a pair of Pan Pacific silver medals in the 10K at both the 2006 and 2010 editions. In the pool, he won two silver medals at the 2003 Pan American Games in the 400 and 1500 freestyle events. Overall, he has won six U.S. national titles with two in the 800 free, two in the 5K and two in the 10K.

After prepping at Germantown, Crippen swam for the University of Virginia and was an 11-time All-American and two-time Atlantic Coast Conference Swimmer of the Year. More recently, Crippen swam for the Mission Viejo Nadadores.

All three of his sisters have had their own success within the swimming community. Maddy was a 2000 Olympian who swam for Villanova, while Claire in an NCAA All-American for the University of Virginia. Teresa is an NCAA finalist who currently swims for the University of Florida.

Crippen's Facebook page has turned into a memorial today as friends post condolences and memories of how Crippen touched their lives.

Details

So for the last year Brent and I have been trying to figure out how to update our hallway. Every little thing has us wanting to keep the character of our home. (It's a 1929 Spanish Bungalow)I found these hand painted door knobs at World Market and had to try them out. Other then repainting the hallway, I think it's a nice, subtle, updated looks. What do you think?

Big Day in Wedding Plans....

Brent and I spent the night in San Diego. I had an account to see and it was way too long since I had seen my mom....so why not combine the two. We had a great dinner last night, some wine, and lots of talks about wedding plans. We decided to get up in the morning and see a jeweler she knew in San Diego. Brent and I hadn't put much thought into our wedding bands, so we figured why not check them out.

After spending a lot of time trying to figure out what we truly wanted, we have our rings on order!! Once we see them in person (about 2-3 weeks) I will give you more information about them. I just want to make sure we like them before I go announcing anything. Another step down!

We haven't had time to finalize the tent just yet. We are working with one of our friends here and he's been super busy. As soon as we can all find the time to meet, we will get that done.

Long Beach happenings

So a few things have been going on. The first I am very proud of! Brent installed, with the help of my dad's direction, a bathroom exhaust fan. Here are a few photos to explain the hard work. Here is the before shot...


Brent had to crawl up into a very small and HOT area to drill a hole in the side of the house....


The view from the bathroom up....


After a little wiring, we are up and running!


So the exhaust fan works and now our bathroom isn't a steam room! Big congrats to Brent for taking this on and a big thanks to my Dad for his patience :)

The other new thing in our life is this....

This purchase wasn't by choice. Yes we wanted a bigger car, but our Sentra needed a lot of work - so we had to make a decision. Thanks to the help of our buddy Tim Wong, we were well taken care of.

This weekend we booked all our flights for the wedding and honeymoon. It's getting closer!!

That's all for now :)

Plans are coming together....

We landed in Boston at 10pm Friday, September 3rd…..after putting 684 miles (yes, almost 700 MILES) on our rental car, we return it Wednesday the 8th. Let me just say that the last 12 hours the car was parked in a parking garage. Saying it was a whirlwind trip just about sums it up. I feel like every time we go back east we just run around. It’s really inevitable, because we don’t have a home base.

Here are the major things we accomplished:
- My final dress fitting until the big day, it’s perfect and I can’t wait
- Picked the food for the wedding
- Visited the wedding site and took measurements for the tent location
o We have three potential locations, so need some time to work that out
- Saw everyone in our wedding party, that lives in Boston

It was a very successful trip! We even managed to spend some quality time with our Grandmothers (very important).

More to come…..

Today is a new day

This past week has been full of a lot of holding my breath. I haven't been this stressed (the last few months) in a long time and it really put my body through a lot. The start of this past week was full of blood tests, CT scans and PET scans. Another 6 months had past. Being tired is an understatement, for sure. I was working all day (until 8 pm each night), having little sleep and no weekends to recover. The old self would have no problem handling those hours, but the new me was just trying to keep a smile on my face. Deep down I was just wondering how my body was going to react. My mind was going to extremes for sure.....everything was put to rest when all my tests came back NORMAL! It was such a relief.

I am still doing blood tests every 3 months and will still go for another round of tests in 6 months. Because I finished treatment less then 2 years ago, he still wants to be pro-active.

My goal over the next few weeks is to find myself again. I am settling into a new job and still have a lot to learn (not only in the job, but about myself). I am not a selfish person and my needs typically come last. I am working on changing that. I am eliminating people from my life who add drama and take energy from me. I am not interested in that anymore. I am interested in taking care of me and making sure I am happy. Happy Erin = Happy Brent!

Brent and I fly to Boston on Friday and we have so many fun things in store. We are looking at the wedding location, we are finalizing the food, meeting with our photographer, I have a dress fitting.....Ahhh, so exciting!! This will determine a lot for us. More to come after the trip, along with photos :)

Updates, Updates, Updates

I don't even know where to begin. I feel like there isn't a lot worth writing about, but yet I have been so busy I don't have time to write. I will keep it short, not sure who even reads this anymore....

1) Got a new job at TYR. I am currently still doing my old job too, so definitely in a transitional period. I am working more on the sales side and will catch you all more when I settle into the job.

2) We have been having visitors throughout the summer. My brother Matt came by and we spent the day at Universal Studios. It's always interesting how you don't ever go to things in your backyard unless you have company!

3) My mom is working on her PhD, not sure if I said that before?!? I am so proud of her to take on that challenge. It's only going to bring her more and more success. She and I are very alike, the idea of sitting around all day when we get old isn't in our genes.

4) My brother Jon, sister in law Monica and niece Katherine are coming to visit TOMORROW! They haven't seen the house since we moved in. It will be great to show them how far we've come.

5) Brent and I are planning a trip back east in September (Labor Day Weekend)...we have a lot of wedding plans to finalize. We are definitely doing a small, intimate wedding. It's our style and we wouldn't have it any other way.

6) We are in a slight neighbor war....basically the lady across the street feeds all the stray cats in the neighborhood. What that means for us is that our yard becomes their litter box. Not okay with us! I ended up calling Animal Control, because the LA County law is that she can have 3 cats (if they stay outside) and 5 (if they are in door cats). At one point I think we counted 15 cats, yes 15! I appears the problem is getting less and less of an issue...but they have to know its us, because they have seen Brent chase cats out of our yard numerous times. The last time they were just starting at him from their driveway. Hey, I love animals, but cleaning up other peoples animals' feces isn't my kind of fun.

That's the abridged version of our life in a nutshell....I will try to be better about updates.

Crazy Hand Cysts!

Its been a while and saying I have been busy is an understatement.

Here are a few highlights....

I had two cysts removed from my left hand. I have one on my wrist and the second on the palm of my hand, the base of my middle finger. I was under the impression the procedure would be pretty simple, 30 minutes tops. Lets just say I was completely wrong! Here is a little picture of what I had going on:


The ganglion cyst got its nickname of "Bible cyst" because back in the old days, the cure for one was for the doctor to whack your wrist with a bible while you held your hand or wrist flat on a table. I just had family members hit it instead. Needless to say, this caused some bigger issues when the surgeon went to take it out. I was put under and the procedure ended up being about 2 hours long vs 30 minutes. They are out, so hoping I never have to do that again. I was in a soft cast for about two weeks and I still don't have my flexibility back in either my wrist or fingers. So fun!

I also went in for more blood work and it all came back CLEAR! I am now about 1.5 years out. In September I will have another full body scan and if all goes well I can move to yearly scans instead of every 6 months. I am very excited about this!

The wedding plans are coming along well. Brent and I are getting more and more excited about our big day.....more to come!

TWO YEARS!

Two years ago, I was sitting in Dr. Berman's office being asked if I came to my visit alone. The day I heard words I had never heard in reference to myself "Lymphoma, tumor board, chemotherapy" One thing I know for sure is that the body is an amazing thing. If you chose to beat something (or someone) and set your mind to it, it will happen. I hear about those victories every day.

These past two years seem like forever ago and like they didn't happen (does that make sense?) I beat cancer, bought a house, became an aunt, got engaged....so many good things have happened, its hard to reflect and feel sad. I am more empowered! When things truly get hard in life, the true support networks step forward. You know you aren't alone and that is something I treasure more then anything else.

Today I celebrate the Cancer survivors as well as give strength to the ones that need it. You can beat this and you will!

Backing it up a bit.....

There has been so much going on in my life that I can hardly keep up. I couldn't not go back to tell you all about my trip to Austin.

When something major happens in your life you truly realize how important some people are in your life. It's not easy to deal with someone who has cancer and I can not expect anyone to behave is a certain way. All I know is that I had some amazing people around me. Ones who truly supported me (and Brent) and one who were right there with me fighting. Until you go through something like this, you really have no idea what it is like....You think you know, but you don't.

During treatment I had friends donate her hair to Locks of Love
(http://www.locksoflove.org/) it was my college team mate Bethany and my cousin Meaghan. They did the most unselfish thing anyone could do!
On my recent trip to Austin, I was there to share the moment with another friend Lara!! See video below:



When I say you can't know what it's like to lose your hair, you can't. I am a strong person and I can put up a good front....but the day that I knew it had to come off was one I will never forget. There is a huge difference between choosing to do something and having no control over it. I thought I was going to be one of the "lucky" ones. Beat the odds and never lose my hair...until I wake up with a pillow full of hair. The emotional drain and physical power it has over you, you can't put into words. I was not only fighting a battle inside myself, but now I was going to look the part as well.

Flashback....


Bethany, Meaghan and Lara (along with thousands of others)stepped outside themselves to help someone else having to deal with the new "me". I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror when my brother cut it off. We all just stood there crying.

If you want to give back and you want to help someone who has to deal with a life changing experience, look into Locks of Love(http://www.locksoflove.org/donate.html) - it will truly change someones life!

Thank you ladies, I love you!

Scan Results

Okay, this one I had to sit on for about a week...let me just say it's been a LONG week. I had my scan and the same day my oncologist called (never a good sign). They found something. It was in my lower abdomen, about 6cm. They were't sure what it was and we were all hoping a cyst (because of the location). I pleaded to get my scan approved and done within the week and once again, success! (I called everyone one I could to push it through).

I was told my Drs can call for the results the same day as my test, so that was my second battle...sorry, getting ahead of myself.

So I was ordered an ultra sound and that happened on Monday. I knew I was getting on a plane Tuesday so I wanted to know if I needed to stay home. No one (Dr. Yu or Dr. Chen) were able to get the results until TODAY! They called multiple times Monday and Tuesday with no success, I hate that and I hate that people are okay with sitting on results!

They found the mass, it appears to be all fluid (excellent), solid would mean tumor and we would have another issue to deal with. They are sending me to another specialist, to be sure. With my history, they don't want to take chances. What will most likely happen is the cyst will dissolve on its own...so keep your fingers crossed.

All I know is that I can finally breathe again and drink some green beer! Happy St. Patrick's Day!

PET Scan

My next PET scan is scheduled, March 9th. I will have a full body PET scan as well as a CT scan with DYE. You'll just have to hold tight (as will I) for the next rounds of tests and results.....

Chasity and Dave

Wedding bells once again! Chasity and Dave were married, here in Long Beach, this Saturday. Chasity is from Attleboro (Brent's home town), so it was definitely a MASS reunion for him. The ceremony was filled with a lot of laughs and the day was filled with smiles. It was great to see two great people tie the knot. I got to know a lot of new people as well - even better!

Here are a few photos of the event:

Katherine's First Birthday!!

I can't believe it's been a YEAR! Katherine is getting so big! Had a great time in Berkeley, wanted to share some very cute videos with you all......


Playing their new favorite game....


Enjoying time with Grandpa.......


Everyone singing Happy Birthday (sorry it's long, but it's like you are there)

If you haven't done so already, we really need more votes to make it into the top 50! Please forward this link on to all your friends.
Thanks!!

http://www.ultimateweddingcontest.com/entries/29720
(Click the title of this post to go stright to the site)

Can't win if you don't play

We found this contest and figured it was worth a shot. It's all about the number of votes you can get....so please pass the link on to everyone you know, we'd greatly appreciate the chance at winning the Grand Prize!

The Ultimate Wedding is a whopping $100,000 value. And to make it even sweeter, this day of perfection will be organized by A–list planner extraordinaire Jo Gartin.

We have NO idea what we would do with that kind of cash for a wedding, but like I said, can't win if you don't play!

http://www.ultimateweddingcontest.com/entries/29720">

(You can click on the title of this post and it will take you to the website as well)

Thanks in advance :)

random thoughts

So I am currently in a town, outside Columbia, MO. I stop at a subway to eat and notice a gentleman across the way. Something about him doesn't feel right. I knew he was watching me and I wanted to stay there to eat. So I picked my table accordingly...back to him, far enough forward that he couldn't really see me. I am just about done eating and he's standing right next to me. Let's just say, I tried to stay cool. He says "I wanted to come over to introduce myself. My name is Mike." And he reaches out his hand. I shook it and said it was nice to meet him. He then walks away. I couldn't see where he went, from my strategic seat choice...

To me, he appeared to be a lonely guy, mid thirties, glasses, tad dis-shoveled, about 5'5" and 180 lbs. I am sure it took a lot for him to come over, but I started thinking about scenes from Criminal Minds. I started looking around, after he left, to see if he did leave. Is he going to follow me? Was it an act of kindness or is this someone I need to be concerned about? It's hard to say.

I travel 70% of my job and just about all of it I am traveling alone. I am always aware of what is going on around me...trying to be one step ahead...and always plan for the unexpected.

Its just sad that because of society, I think the worst in this guy...instead of taking it as a complement (potentially).

All I know for sure is that I wasn't followed and didn't see him again.

Health Update

Alright, it's about time I actually updated people on how I am doing.

I tried to see Dr. Chen a week or so ago, but he had just come back from vacation and was SOOOO behind. I was there for an hour and still wasn't seen and I was about to get on plane. So I had to leave without beings seen. I was finally able to get a new appointment yesterday, so here is the update (finally)......

All my blood work came back good. We are all happy about that. I have a full body scan next month. Dr. Chen said I am not completely out of the woods yet, but he is really happy with my progress. We will continue scans about every 6 months this first few years.

I have been working out a lot more and I am finally feeling like I can push myself and not "hurt" myself. Brent and I started swimming again and P90x...all I can say about P90x is it feels great, but boy I am NOT a coordinated person. Dr. Chen asked about my heart rate and lungs and I told him I was feeling a lot better. He asked what I did...I just told him I decided to be patient and wait. I waited longer before I really started working out again. I waited until I felt better physically and was emotionally ready for what was to come.

I can't say I don't think about it coming back. I do my best not to. I get stressed easily and working out more has helped me manage that a lot more. As I am getting stronger working out, the reality of the cancer being gone becomes more real. It's a much better place to be, that's for sure!

The story......

Yesterday was my 31st birthday. I can't believe another year has gone by and so much has changed in these last two years. On my way into work, I was thinking How did I get here? I am a believer that everything in life happens for a reason. There have been many paths, before college; which college will I attend....to grad school and my career paths. Some jobs I turned down and others I didn't get. Why did all those things happen? Am I suppose to be right here where I am right now? I just find it oddly ironic, because yesterday turned out to be the next chapter in my life.

Let me start off by saying I was dropping hints. Okay, maybe not hints, more "hey, lets get married" kinda hints. Brent did a really good job of hiding it, that's for sure....especially with his detective fiance' (wow, that's weird to say!) He had just gone to Hawaii and his sister sells jewelry there; engagement rings! I had an idea he might do this, BUT when he got home, he had a bracelet and earrings for me. He definitely threw me off. Then, a week or so goes by and at this point I gave up on the idea that now was the time. Because, if I were him, it would burn a hole in my pocket and I couldn't wait.

Sooooo, Brent asked what I wanted to do for my birthday and I really wanted to go to dinner. He had me pick out a location, Tantalum in Long Beach. Two of our friends Chasity and Dave were thinking about joining us - so that was the first sign, for me, that it wasn't going to happen tonight.

Guess what, they weren't able to join us. (Not sure if that was planned or not, ha).

We were just sitting there, drinking a bottle of wine and just enjoying each others company. I was babbling about some up coming trips I have for work, about he and I wanting to go east in April and just trying to figure out what trips we want to take. I starting talking about a friend's wedding and that just opened the window for him to step in there......

Backing it up a second, Brent wasn't listening at all (so he tells me after). He was just trying to get me to stop talking, so he can find a way to ask me. He had the ring box hidden in his pant leg and my foot was right there by his leg. He was thinking I was going to blow it for him!

Moving on....

The door was opened when I brought up the wedding topic and he said "speaking of weddings....I have something for you". It was so cute. He pushed his chair out... got down on one knee and asked. He was nervous, cute and excited all at the same time. It wasn't something that he drew a lot attention to, because that's not me. He kept it intimate and personal, exactly what I wanted. I was just so happy (no there weren't tears) but all I could do was smile. Our waitress took a few pictures for us, brought us champagne and just allowed us to enjoy the moment.

No, we don't have a date....no, we don't know any details yet. We are just trying to enjoy the ride. Shoot, it took us six and a half years to get to here, don't rush us :)

It's Official!

and I couldn't be happier!!

Christmas/New Years/BCS Game

Where have I been? Lets start at the beginning....Berkeley was great. Nothing like experiencing true "firsts" in someones life. Katherine was full of energy and lots of fun to be around.


Jonny and I took K to her first swim lesson, along with her cousin Allison, and they did fantastic! We had a great crowd with us - Monica, Nancy and Brent...all taking photos and cheering the kids on. It took K a little more time to become comfortable in the water, but about 15 minutes in, she was slapping the water and kicking her feet = priceless.



K's first birthday is coming up and I will do everything I can to be there!


For New Years, Brent and I had some friends over to our place. We have been dog sitting and we aren't really into the going "out" thing anymore. It was much more fun being in our own home, less stressful and we knew our friends could crash if needed. It all turned out great. This is Brent taking Betty (the dog we are sitting) for a run along the bike...good times.



The BCS game....let's just say it didn't turn out like we hoped. Poor Colt McCoy. We had a great time, winning would have been better, but regardless we made some excellent memories. Lara and Greg stayed with us for a few days, of course that was a lot of laughing. Hopefully I will get my butt to Austin in March.




For the first time all treatment, I missed a date. I guess that is what happens when you try to put your life back together. I was suppose to go in for blood work in December and see Dr. Chen. I have scheduled everything for this month, so that will be a good milestone for me. I will get all those results the last week in January. Overall, I have been feeling good. Work has been super stressful, so managing that has been quite a challenge for me. Brent and I started swimming again. It's been great to find a routine and to have an outlet (even if I can only swim ONE speed).