Final Chemo is DONE!

So I went to my final chemo this morning, # 8. It went smooth, got home before noon - it goes faster when I have one less drug. I got home, felt good for a little bit but then it hit. It definitely comes in waves and a lot has to do with the temperature of the apartment. It got a little warmer and I almost lost it. I was over heating and feeling like garbage, mom got me cold cloths etc. Always helps to have a nurse sitting next to you! I didn't get too much food in me until about 6 pm tonight....so it was good that I finally got some calories in me. I will take something to help me sleep tonight, sleep always makes me feel better.

On Thursday, I am meeting with the radiation DR. So I will know more about my next step at that point. I have been told a lot of things about what may happen during radiation and the big one being my esophagus. It may get burned during the treatments and could have a really hard time swallowing - thus lose weight. So I won't get too alarmed until I talk to the DR and make sure I have all my facts straight.

The great thing is today was the last day of them accessing my port. It does bother me a lot. It will still have to stay in my chest until next summer or fall (2009)....so hopefully I don't scare too many people at the pool when I go swimming! I am sure it will cause a lot of stares and questions, but no more then I have had to deal with now.

I thought about taking a picture in the oncologists office, to capture my last moments, but then I thought about the other people sitting there. One lady was there my last treatment, it was her first treatment and she just broke down crying. It was a horrible thing to watch and brought back a lot of memories and feelings. Another man came in to the office to donate his drugs. He was stopping all treatment, nothing was killing all his cancer and he has been fighting for over 50 years. He wants to live the rest of his life without all the drugs in his system...it's just a waiting game for him now.
I will celebrate in my own way, but not at the expense of others who have their own challenges. Yes, we are all going through the same things and I know that I can be an example of it working, but that's not me either. I have never been a "look at me" kind of person and I especially didn't want it to come across at look how lucky I am and too bad for you. I will celebrate when I am truly done. I still have some hurdles to get over and have a long way to go to get back to where I want to be. Each day is a celebration in it's own way. I am surrounded by such great people, why is this day any different then tomorrow or yesterday, really?? I am still here, I am still breathing and I am still cancer free!

So, I am just trying to take it easy.....more to come on Thursday after my appointment.