Chemo # 5

I wanted to start off by saying Happy Birthday to Alex (my sister-in-law). Have a great time tonight and we will celebrate like rock stars next year!!

I was definitely out of it most of the day yesterday, wasn't able to write...sorry about being a day late with the update....
Brent was able to sit with me again, he kept an eye on my IV bags the entire time. I finished my treatment in about 3 hours. I wasn't feeling so good before treatment, I am not sure if was more anxiety and nerves vs just plain not feeling well. I dread these days. It's like as soon as I start to feel better, can take walks or bring myself to the store by myself, it's Friday and time to start all over again. My co-worker Laura came over Thursday night, cooked me dinner and just hung out. She filled me in on all the office news :) Was great to have someone else to talk to. She wanted to know if I was tired and ready for bed - all I could say is I have nothing to look forward to tomorrow, so I like these days to last as long as possible. It's not that I don't understand that I need the chemo, I know it's working...I just hate the feelings that surround it. The great thing was that I got my new blackberry. I was able to sit and answer emails during treatment. I told a few coaches where I was, I think I freaked them out a little ;0 What was great was that I didn't have to sit on my computer when I got home, to catch up with the day!

When I got home, I was more beat then I ever had been. Felt like a train ran over me. I have a small window when I get home where I can force food in me - then it all hits. So I ate a little bagel and Gatorade...then was out for a while. I found a nice home in my bed for a few hours before I was ready to come out. My brother keeps reminding me that I feel like this because the drugs are working - so I just keep reminding that every time I feel bad. I started to feel more hungry as the day went one, I was able to eat a small bin of blueberries and had another bagel with some peanut butter. I picked as a small bit of chicken as well - wanted to make sure I got as much protein in as possible. I had a weird pain down the side of my neck when I got home. It was on the right side, ear to collar bone. (this is the opposite side from my tumors). Of course I kept poking around to make sure I didn't feel any bumps - even if my CT scan didn't show it. The sad part was that it was sore to the touch, so I wasn't helping the situation. I decided to knock myself out with Benedryl and get as much sleep as possible - the drugs would help with my neck, the body itches, and sleeping.

I slept for about 11 hours and feel much different today. I would be lying if I said I felt good. My body is really weak, but the overall crappiness has gone down a lot. I just keep reading books - they help distract me. I am going to try to keep a constant flow of food and drink today - especially when it takes me over an hour to finish a mini bagel.

Brent gave me a shot a little bit ago. I have one more before I need the new shipment. Hopefully they have them here by Monday or it may be a repeat of the last treatment - but we won't plan on that. I will give them the benefit of the doubt that it was a one-time mess up. They need to prove themselves now!