Not going to lie, it's been a really rough round so far. The past two rounds, I start to feel better Monday or Tuesday...today I am still fighting the nausea pretty bad. My whole body is a lot weaker, appetite a lot smaller and just can't seem to shake the awfulness. I know, great news. I just hope each day I wake up, I will have a good day...so maybe tomorrow will be different?
I did make a decision this week. I am not going to travel to Olympic Trials in a few weeks. I am sure all of you knew that, but I was still in my warped reality that I would be strong enough to go. Keeping myself as my top priority, staying home is best and there will be many more swim meets in my time.....
Matt and I had a conversation this weekend that I can only laugh about now. We talked about how Dr. Chen (my oncologist) told me I could run during treatment if I "felt like it". At first, I was angry and felt a little mislead. Matt corrected me and said, "he wasn't lying to you Erin, you can run if you feel like it. You just won't feel like it!"
Brent and I took a walk tonight, I wanted some fresh air. It took us about 45 min to walk a half mile. I know, SLOW DOWN ERIN! We had to sit and rest about half way through. I would like to say that resting took up a lot of time, but I am just not moving as fast as I used to. I am ready to hear when I will be done. It's one thing to push off a wall for a set of 40 x 400s and know how much longer you have to be mentally and physically strong....and it's another for you to push off with no end in sight. It will be about two more weeks until I will know how many more 400s I have left.
6 comments:
howie - you are such a tough cookie! all the swimmers reading this understand what you mean about the 'unknown end' of a set. but, if there was ever anyone who i know would go 100% regardless of knowing how many 400s were left (and lay into anyone else who did otherwise!!), it would be you! you rule. xoxo
hang in there, lady. thinking about you often.
Hi Erin! I'm finally posting here... I emailed you earlier today but I wanted to let you know that I'm finally back on track and caught up with your posts.
Erin, you are so tough. I can not possibly express how impressed I am with your courage and your strength.
Stay positive. Stay in touch. I'm thinking about you!
Oh... and one more thing... I think you look FANTASTIC with your new haircut!
Hang in there, Erin! I've been thinking about you a lot. You're tough and I know you can get through this and still have a smile on your face!!
Okay Erin, I have stayed quiet too long. You will get to the end. I know. I did. Just keep up the great attitude. It's all about the attitude. My favorite poem that I read everyday when I was sick:
Cancer might rob you of that
Blissful ignorance that once
Led you to believe that
Tomorrow stretched forever.
In exchange you are granted
The vision to see each today
As a precious gift to be
Used wisely and richly.
Keep strong.
Craig
Erin,
I'd just like tolet you know that your Aunt Eileen told me to keep you in my prayers-- I am and I know that you will hang tough and win!
Denise (eileen's cousin-in-law)
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