Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Long Night

Some nights seem endless and last night was one of them. I went to sleep with a migraine. I was able to get it to go down for a little bit, enough to sleep for about 4 hours before it woke me up and kept me up the rest of the morning. What I find is that as I lay awake, I am able to really take a look at my life and where I am.....this is what I realized.

I realized how lucky I am. I know everyone keeps telling me "I'm so sorry" but really what are they sorry for. I have a very curable Cancer and something that is just slowing me down for the next few months. This isn't something that I can't win. I am not going to lie, I wish I didn't have this, but I do...now it's time to figure out how to live my daily life with it. It's just a new challenge. Those of you who know me well know I thrive off challenges. Just because I have Cancer doesn't mean the world stops, so really, why should I? I realize how much worse some Cancer patients have it and I am not clinging for life. I am living with Cancer and I am thankful for what I have.

The support of my friends, family, co-workers, friends of friends and people I have never even met remind me every day how thankful I am to have such great people in my life. Every step of my life I have come in contact with some amazing people and I have never been one to close any doors. Friends I haven't talked to in years called and we just picked up where we left off. It is amazing how many people are putting their priorities on hold to help me. I have been blown away! So for that, I thank you. I just hope you all know how much the support means to me.

3 comments:

Bethany said...

So Ms. Erin Howarth...you never cease to amaze...There have been many times over the course of our friendship that I've seen just how strong you are but this new challenge is bringing out more than the best in you. (Granted, Brent may be able to comment on the worst hehe) I am so proud of you! You are my rock, you always have been, and your journey brings tears to my eyes because I get to continually read about how so many other people feel the same way. I wish I could be there to support you in person but know that I am always here, time difference or not, to answer your calls and give you what I can. Not to mention a few t-shirts along the way. And Brent...if you happen to read this...know that I haven't forgotten about you either :) I love you girlie!! Once a Horn...

Anonymous said...

Howie - A very touching entry. Thanks for being, YOU!

Much love.

Anonymous said...

Erin
You are so braveand beautiful inside and out.We are going to beat this,I am so proud to be your Mom

oxxoxox